I am Awesome

"Quiver before my unrelenting awesomeness"

-William Tecumseh Sherman

In the not so distant past, life was much more difficult than it is today. Cholera, post-colonial political struggle, heavy pollution and economic inequality were rife. Whole societies found themselves with no recourse but to condemn a majority of their populations to virtual slavery. The world was a dark place, and nothing was what it seemed.

Today, as the world basks in the light of my perpetual and unrelenting awesomeness, many people get a small, sad twinge of nostalgia thinking back to those times. War, famine, death, AIDS, homelessness, depression, recession. Words that only a few years ago were the driving forces behind mankind's desperate struggle, now suddenly meaningless, harmless as a shark on a Bennigans roof. It almost seems funny to look back, to see the amount of sturm unt drang that people went through. "The solution was so simple;" people think, slapping themselves on their unblemished foreheads, "how could we not see it sitting in front of us the entire time?" All society needed was the warmth of my record-shattering awesomeness.

Though we are blessed today, never forget the sacrifices that were made so that this great country could finally have the awesomeness it deserves.